One of the many teams participating in the days events.

Cheers to Lebanon Valley College for hosting the Special Olympic swim meet Saturday, March 21. Five counties in Pennsylvania participated in the event that lasted the entire morning; the festivities included a kick-off parade, medal ceremonies, craft activities, and more for the athletes to participate in. The Special Olympians took in everything with envious optimism, joining in on every opportunity to further their experiences. LVC student and staff volunteers (more than needed, a good problem to have) helped make the event happen—one that impacted both athletes and volunteers for the better.

Jeers to the a-hole who decided that taking batteries from the Mund Student Center defibrillator was a good idea. The defibrillator—you know, the machine that could save someone’s life in case of sudden heart problems—sat without batteries until an alarm eventually went off. Ironically, the batteries can’t even be used in any other piece of equipment. Really? Has someone really dropped so low as to steal batteries from a possible life-saver? Please [insert idiot’s name in here], risk your own life if need be but not those around you.

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Since imitation is reputed to be the sincerest form of flattery, we respectfully and humbly give props to Vanity Fair Magazine for unashamedly pilfering the Proust Questionnaire to fit our needs.  “Since July 1993, the back page of Vanity Fair has been devoted to the Proust Questionnaire, in which a noteworthy person answers a series of personal questions. The questionnaire has its origins in a parlor game popularized (though not devised) by Marcel Proust (1871-1922), the French essayist and novelist, who believed that, in answering these questions, an individual reveals his or her true nature.” http://www.vanityfair.com/archives/features/proust

Greg Kauffman, ’09

Greg is an International Business/Spanish double major.  He is president of the College Democrats and State Council Chair of the Pennsylvania Federation of College Democrats. He is also a member of several other campus organizations including Phi Beta Lamba, HyPE, and the Rotoract Club.  He hates Mondays and is a member of the LVC Swim Team

What is your idea of perfect happiness?

Tranquility.

What is your greatest fear?

Being truly alone.

What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?

My tendency to procrastinate.

What is the trait you most deplore in others?

Hypocrisy.

What is your greatest extravagance?

My appreciation for cocktails.

What is your current state of mind?

Contented fatigue.

What do you consider the most overrated virtue?

Of the four classic Western virtues, temperance is the most overrated.

On what occasion do you lie?

When it’s trivial and the truth would only be detrimental.

Which living person do you most despise?

Rick Santorum.

What is the quality you most like in a man?

Gregariousness.

What is the quality you most like in a woman?

Intellectual curiosity.

Which words or phrases do you most overuse?

Douchebag (and all subsequent variants), indeed, and sounds good.

What or who is the greatest love of your life?

Reading.

When and where were you happiest?

The back deck of my brother’s house during a thunderstorm, summer of 2007.

Which talent would you like most to have?

Eidetic Memory.

If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

My incredible social awkwardness.

What do you consider your greatest achievement?

Staying alive after 21 years of existence.

If you were to die and come back as a person or thing, what do you think it would be?

A Buddhist monk.

What is your most treasured possession?

My wristwatch.

What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?

Self-pity.

What is your most marked characteristic?

My terrible sense of humor.

What do you most value in your friends?

Loyalty.

Who are your heroes in real life?

My swim coach.

What is it that you most dislike?

Blind, unquestioning acceptance of a thought or idea.

What is your greatest regret?

That I didn’t take better advantage of my time at LVC.

How would you like to die?

Somewhere beautiful and peaceful when I am very old, but if I should die young, I’d like to die for something.

What is your motto?

Primum non nocere – do no harm.

Compiled by Patrick Salomon